Living In Oblivion
by Dirt Road Darlin
Summary: Gibbs has an announcement. Abby has a secret. Will one affect the other?
1. Chapter 1

Fanfic: NCIS - Living In Oblivion (Gibbs/Abby) - Complete

Abby, Angst, Complete, Fanfic, Fic, Friendship, Gabby, Gibbs, Happy, Heartbreak, Hope, Loss, Love, Multi-Chapter, NCIS, Sadness

Rating: M (Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with non-explicit suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, or coarse language. Fiction M can contain adult language, themes and suggestions.).

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**SUMMARY:**  
Gibbs has an announcement. Abby has a secret. Will one affect the other?

**STORY NOTES:**  
Originally written on Jul 16, 2008

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All flashbacks and/or inner thoughts are in _italics_.

**DISCLAIMER:**  
This fanfic has been written purely for entertainment value, with no money being made from this work. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners with no copyright infringement intended. The original characters/places/plot/etc. are the sole property of the author. Thank you.

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… **LIVING IN OBLIVION …**

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It was almost nine. The bar was pretty quiet considering that it was a Saturday night, but Abby Scuito was glad for the silence. Odd for her, yes, but even she needed a change once in a while. It was only the laughter of the dark haired Mossad agent that brought her out of her thoughts.

"Tony! That's horrible!"

Abby watched as an always-wisecracking Tony DiNozzo snorted at his partner's comments, giving her a cheeky grin.

"Oh, oh! I got one." Jimmy Palmer yelled with amusement. Everyone, including Abby, turned to stare at the man as he flashed a smile. "What do you call a fish with no eyes?"

Abby raised an eyebrow, Timothy McGee repeated the question to himself, DiNozzo scratched his head as if that will somehow help while Ziva David and Ducky Mallard turned to stare at each other in confusion.

Palmer pushes his glasses a little further up on his nose, then blurted out his answer, "Fsh! Get it? No I's. F.S.H. Fsh!?"

"Ooooooooh" came the group reaction.

"Bad, Palmer," Abby told him as she patted his shoulder. "Really bad."

She watched then as Palmer let out a sigh. "At least you tried," she told him, trying to encourage the youngest addition to their NCIS team.

"Can anyone fathom a guess as to when the elusive Leroy Jethro Gibbs is planning on joining this party?" Ducky asked as he glanced at his watch.

"Should be anytime," DiNozzo answered, giving his own watch a glance. "He said he'd be here around 9, so it shouldn't be too long now." He watched his friends then and tried to read their faces. "Any guess as to what he wants to tell us?"

"I haven't the foggiest," came the first response, followed closely by, "No idea."

"Abs," he questioned, turning to face his dark haired friend. "Do you know what's going on?"

She looked at him, shaking her head. "No clue, Tony."

"Oh come on, he'd tell you before he'd tell anybody!"

"Sorry," she told him, as she dug into her pocket for a few dollars. "I'm going to go play some tunes." With that, she hopped from her seat and disappeared around the corner, only to appear a few minutes later with AC/DC's "Shook Me All Night Long" invading the bar room.

"Niiice!" Tony told her as she moved to stand between Ducky and Ziva, showing his approval.

"Anyone want to dance?" She asked, twirling a piece of her raven black hair in her hand.

When she received no volunteers, she began her quest.

"Ducky?"

"Sorry my dear Abigail, I don't think I can quite keep up with this. Catch me on a slow song and I am yours for the taking."

"Deal," she told him, kissing his forehead. She eyed the rest of the contestants carefully before settling on Tony.

"DiNozzo!" she semi-yelled. His eyes stared up at her from the table. "Come on, mister. Show me those moves you're so often bragging about."

"Abby, I…"

"Now, buster!" She said teasingly, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the dance floor.

It took only a few seconds more before Ziva was ready to join in. "What do you say McGee? Want to cut a carpet?"

"Rug, Ziva." He corrected. "Cut a rug."

"Whatever," she mumbled, moving her hand through the air with annoyance. "Do you want to dance or not?"

McGee glanced at Abby and Tony laughing and smiled. "Why not?" he told her as he pulled out her chair and led her in the direction of their teammates.

Three songs later, the foursome decided to take a break and headed back to the table to join their coworkers. They were met by two new additions: One Leroy Jethro Gibbs and his blonde companion, Lt. Colonel Hollis Mann.

"Hey Boss!" McGee greeted.

"We were just about to give up on you," Tony added as he took his seat.

"Yeah, DiNozzo?" Gibbs teased. "I could tell you were really worried about me showing up when you were over there doing the funky chicken."

Ziva grinned as she watched Tony's ears turn a bright red.

"So, what's the deal, boss?" Tony questioned, as he popped a peanut in his mouth. "What'd you need us here for?"

"Because I'm getting married, Tony."

Tony immediately spit the peanut out, landing on Palmer's glasses. "Sorry," he told him, turning then to face Gibbs, repeating the condolence. "Sorry Boss, what did you say?"

"I said," Gibbs began, slowly letting his eyes move from one friend to another, judging their reactions. "I'm getting married."

In most he saw shock, in some he saw confusion, in one he saw no emotion at all and he wondered why.

"Congratulations," came the immediate response from just about everyone in the group.

"So, when will this ceremony take place?" Ducky asked as he shook his old friend's hand.

"Two weeks from today," Hollis announced as she grabbed her fiancé's hand. "You're all invited."

"Thought you could be the best man, Duck."

"I'd be honored, Jethro."

Abby remained silent. Instead she chose to fidget with a buckle on her pants, biting on the inside of her lip until the taste of blood warmed her mouth. It was only when the beginning of a new song started that she made some attempt at movement.

"Ducky," she said hoarsely. "I do believe you owe me a dance."

"I do indeed," he told her, rising from his seat.

Abby followed Dr. Mallard's movements and rose from her own chair, stopping briefly in front of Gibbs and Mann. She never made eye contact with either of them. She simply stared at the space behind them and softly whispered, "Congratulations."


	2. Chapter 2

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… **CHAPTER TWO …**

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Abby swayed quietly to the music and watched with a careful eye at the people sitting at the booth in the corner. She noticed a stare from Gibbs several times, but tried to pay it no mind.

"My dear girl, where in the world do you get all that energy?"

Abby smiled brightly at her dance partner and continued to let him twirl her around the room. "By being near you, Duckman."

He laughed with delight, loving the vibrancy his young friend offered. "You are a treasure, my dear."

"Why thank you, Ducky." As the song came near an end, she hugged him tightly until he was reminding her that he was having a hard time breathing.

"Can I have the next dance?" a calm and steady voice asked from behind them.

"Jethro," Ducky announced, smiling at his newly engaged friend. "Dear Abby, I will now leave you in Jethro's capable hands."

Abby gave a small curtsy as Ducky left the two to stand in silence, with nothing but the music to fill in the space. Gibbs slowly stepped into Abby's space, wrapping his arms around her waist, letting them rest at the small of her back. Her hands, now suddenly trembling, went cautiously under his arms and around his back, hands resting at his shoulder blades.

Abby sucked in a breath as he pulled her to him, noticing the song playing; John Mayer's "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room". Funny, that's exactly how it felt. Like her world was on fire.

"What's on your mind, Abs?" came the soft question against her raven hair after several minutes had passed with no conversation.

"Nothin'" she told him, refusing to pull back to look at him. "But um, shouldn't you be dancing with your fiancé?"

"She's dancing with Palmer."

"Oh," she said shortly, wondering if she had just been the "filler" until Gibbs could dance with his future wife.

"And, you're lying."

She closed her eyes. He was right, but what good was it to say anything. Things were different now.

"Gibbs," she whispered, feeling his thumb making circles on her back. "I… I hope you're happy with her."

"Thank you," he whispered.

"That's all I've ever wanted you know?"

"What are you talking about, Abs?" he asked, stopping his movements, choosing now to simply hold her to him as the music played on.

"I…"

"Can I cut in?" came the voice from beside them.

Abby immediately stepped back from Gibbs and acknowledged the blonde woman to their left. "Of course you can," she told her. "He's your…" stopping herself before she finished the sentence.

"Of course you can," she repeated, leaving the two alone and heading back to her friends.

"Abs?" Tony questioned as Abby sucked down a beer and began making an excuse about a late night date that she'd forgotten about. "You okay?"

She smiled her best fake smile at him. "Of course I am, Tony. I'll see you guys on Monday."

With that, Abby disappeared out the door, never noticing the steel blue eyes that watched her from afar.

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Abby stepped into the darkened apartment, placing her keys on the skull and crossbones hook that hung by the door. It was almost midnight and her heart ached, but she knew sleep would never come to her. Not now.

_"I'm getting married."_

She could hear him saying the words so clearly in her head that it was almost like he were in the room with her.

"Damn it," she swore as she kicked her shoes off, flopping down on her couch. "It's not supposed to be this way."

"Abs?" came the male voice from just beyond her door.

She recognized it instantly.

Tony.

With the shake of her head, she walked to the door and let him in. "What are you doing here, DiNozzo?"

"Checking on you," he told her honestly. "Something hinky was going on when you left the bar." He watched her then, noticing no hint of denial in her body language. "So, I thought I'd come by and make sure you were okay."

She stood there, arms crossed, saying nothing.

"Are you?" he asked with a hint of worry in his words.

"No."

He saw the look on her face and the heartbreak that had somehow enveloped her in just a few moments time. "What's wrong?" he asked, concern so evident that Abby felt the need to comfort him.

"I'm okay, Tony."

He didn't believe her, deciding instead to take her hand and lead her to her couch where she would inevitably tell him what was wrong. This is what they did. He racked his brain trying to think about what could have possibly brought on this sudden burst of unhappiness.

"Oh my God," he mumbled, a look coming across his face as if a lightening bolt had hit him.

"Gibbs." He said shortly.

"What about him?" Abby asked, pulling her hair loose from their twin pigtails.

"You're in love with him."


	3. Chapter 3

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… **CHAPTER THREE …**

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"That's it isn't it? You're in love with him?"

Abby jerked her body back just an inch or so, reacting as if he had slapped her instead of asking her a simple question. Her eyes welled up with tears, that she refused to let fall, and then she answered. "Yes."

"Abs," he whispered, wanting to reach out and hug her, but knowing that she needed her space. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't matter," she said simply. "I guess it never did."

"Abby," he began again. "I could've… could've … listened."

She gave a faint smile at his suggestion. "God Love ya, Tony. I know you would have. But, the thing is, you've had your own problems. Your own set of worries and heartbreaks, no need to add to that."

"I should have known." He told her, running a hand through his hair. "I mean, I knew you loved him, but I didn't know you were in love with him. Some investigator I am."

Tony sat silent for a few seconds, as if somehow still letting the whole thing sink in. Then, as if Gibbs himself had head slapped him into awareness, he jumped up. "You have to tell him, Abs!"

Pacing then, he continued. "You, you have to tell him how you feel before he marries her. Before he ends up in another doomed marriage with…." scrunching his nose as he reached the last word, "Mann."

"Tony…"

"I mean, he has to know how you feel. You're Abby. You're his girl."

"Tony," she repeated.

"If you tell him... Abby, if you tell him, there's no way he'll marry her. He has to know."

"Tony!" she said more demanding, finally catching her friend's attention. When his hazel eyes stared at her, she took in a breath and closed her eyes. "He already does."

"Does what?" Tony asked, seemingly hurt by just the thought of what she was implying.

"He already knows how I feel."

Sitting back down, Tony felt as if his own heart were breaking. Abby had told Gibbs how she felt and it had meant nothing? He shook his head in disbelief. "When?"

"2 years ago, Tony. To be exact, 2 days before the explosion."

He wanted to say something, anything that could possibly make some sort of brightness appear in his friend's otherwise darkened form, but he found nothing. Tony could think of no words that could soften this heartbreak and it brought a sadness onto himself. Then, as if just being there and having someone to finally hear her was enough, Abby smiled and began to tell him the details.

"We had just finished up work for the night and Gibbs came down to the lab to escort me out." She smiled sadly. "Always the gentleman."

"After he led me to my car, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me goodnight. And, I remember standing there, wanting so much to just shout it out to him… right there in the Navy yard. But, I didn't. I went home, tried to distract myself with a movie, the internet, voodoo dolls, nothing worked. Finally, I just got in the car and drove to his house."

Abby stood, disappeared into her kitchen and then reappeared with a bottle of Jack and two glasses. Finding her spot back on the couch, she filled the 2 glasses, handing one to Tony and quickly swallowing most of the liquid she'd poured into the other.

"When I got to his house, I knocked, but no one answered. Of course, the door was unlocked, so I went in. I knew where he'd be. So I made my way to the basement door. My foot was on the second step when he said my name." Abby took another drink before sitting the glass down.

"He was surprised to see me there and was worried that something was wrong. I made my way down the steps and the minute I reached the bottom one, he was at me, and I just blurted it out. I love you Leroy Jethro Gibbs. That's what I told him. Could have been a bit more smooth, huh Tony?"

Tony smiled at her and patted her hand. "What did he say?"

"That I was drunk," she huffed. "And to go to the spare room and sleep it off. Funny thing was, I'd never been more sober in my life. And, here he was, sending me away. I got frustrated, demanded that he look at me and see that I wasn't drinking and that I meant every word I said. I wanted him to see that I was a woman who loved him, for all that he was and for all that he'd ever be. And, then…" She brought her hand up to gently touch her lips. "He kissed me."

She was silent for a few minutes, as if somehow reliving the moment in her head. When she finally looked at Tony again, the tears she'd been fighting finally fell. "We made love, Tony. It was the most beautiful night of my life and then… he forgot me."

He couldn't help himself. His hand was wiping away her tears before he even knew it had moved from his side. "Why didn't you ever say anything, Abby? You knew he lost his memory, why didn't you just say something?"

"And say what Tony? Hey Gibbs, do you remember me telling you that I loved you? That we made love and talked of a life together and then you were blown up?"

"Well… yeah."

"Tony," she whispered, half in frustration and half in amusement at her friend. "He was dealing with losing Shannon and Kelly all over again. And then, when he came to the Yard from the hospital I held out a glimmer of hope when he said it was good to remember me. But then… then he came out of MTAC so messed up, and he left us."

Abby rose from her seat and walked over to stare at a picture of the team that was hanging on the wall. She let a pale finger rub a circle over the image of Gibbs.

"And do you know what really sucks Tony? He wouldn't even let me speak. He wouldn't even let me say a damn word. You could talk, McGee could talk, even Ziva, but not me? Why not me, Tony?" She sunk to the floor then. "Why not me?"

He was at her in an instant, wrapping her up in his arms as if she were a doll, cradling her as she sobbed into his chest.

"Abs, you gotta talk to him. Tell him… again."

"I can't, Tony." She whispered, drawing back from his embrace and wiping her tears. "It's been two years. What's there to tell? He's moved on. He's with Hollis now and if she makes him happy, who am I to take that from him? What we had was one night. How can that compare?"

"Abby, what you and Gibbs have was… is more than one night. It's been years. Hell, it feels like you two have known each other a lifetime. There's always been something there for as long as I can remember."

"That's the thing Tony. You remember. He doesn't. He remembers Ducky getting left on a bus, Kate killed by Ari, Men he served in war with, you, McGee, and Jen and their fling in Paris. And, he remembers me too. Just not… just not that. And, I made deals that night, you know? Deals that if he were okay that I wouldn't ask for more. That him being alive and well would be enough. So, I guess I'm just paying my debts."

"Abby…"

"No Tony. There's nothing left to do but wish him well."

"And what about you, Abs? What do you do?"

"The same thing I've been doing for over two years. Try to forget what I've prayed he'd remember."

With that, Tony pulled her back against his chest and stroked her hair as she cried.


	4. Chapter 4

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… **CHAPTER FOUR …**

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Monday morning came all too soon and Abby longed for the comfort of her home, away from work, away from the Navy Yard and away from Gibbs. Poor Tony had spent Saturday night and most of Sunday with her, trying to somehow make things better. They had watched horror movies and ate popcorn. He'd held her when she'd cried and she'd rationalized when he'd come up with off the wall ways to fix this damned situation. She let a small smile form on her lips. He really had been a good friend to her and she honestly believed she would not have made it through the night if he had not shown up at her door.

She wondered then how she had handled doing this for two years now. She realized in the back of her mind, that as long as Gibbs had been near her, she had been okay with the fact that he had forgotten. But now, to know for sure, that someone else was going to take her place? That there would be no hope of him ever coming to her and making her his again, ripped her heart out.

"Abby?"

She closed her eyes when she heard the voice from the doorway.

"Hey Gibbs," she greeted, forcing a smile to her face. "What've you got for me?"

"Dead marine," he told her, moving into the room holding a box of evidence for her to sift through.

"I'll get right on it," she told him, taking her pen out to sign for the change of hands.

He sat the box on the table then, moving further into the room to now stand just inches from his dark haired friend's face. "You okay?" he asked, searching her face with sincere concern.

"Long night," she told him, stepping away from him and moving to the counter by the window, sliding her hands into the latex gloves before she handled evidence.

"You were kind of quiet Saturday night," he reminded her. "You left in a bit of a hurry."

"Yeah, sorry about that." She turned to face him then. "I had some other plans that I'd forgotten about."

"Yeah?" he questioned, not believing her.

"Yeah," she told him. "Besides, you were busy and I didn't think I'd be missed."

He was at her in an instant, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered, "You're always missed, Abs."

He turned then, leaving the lab and never seeing the anguish that filled her green eyes.

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8 hours later, Abby had processed all the evidence, given the information to various members of the team and was now ready to go home and forget about the entire day. Turning off the lights at her desk, she grabbed Burt and was heading toward the door when she saw the figure of a woman standing there.

"Can I help you?" she asked, walking closer to the figure.

"I thought maybe we could talk for a few minutes," came the reply as Hollis Mann moved into the lighted area of the lab. "If you're not busy, that is."

Abby shrugged. What exactly was she supposed to say? "What's on your mind?"

"Gibbs."

"Gibbs?" she questioned, putting Burt on the table as she stared at Mann, waiting for her to elaborate.

"Abby, I get the distinct feeling that you're not fond of me."

Abby wouldn't deny the accusation.

"That's okay," Mann told her. "I'm not fond of you either."

With that, Abby raised an eyebrow.

"That surprises you?" Mann asked, crossing her arms.

"Nope." Abby's reply was short, but honest. "Should it?"

"I guess not."

A few seconds passed with both women standing in silence, then not being able to bear it a moment longer, Abby spoke her frustration. "Is there any particular reason that you're here or did you just want to let me know you didn't like me?"

Hollis smirked. "I know you have feelings for Gibbs. And, he considers you a really good friend, which is why I don't say anything about the way you tend to cling to him."

"Cling to him?" Abby repeated, feeling the rush of anger filling her body.

"Yes. You dress completely inappropriately for work, you call him for the silliest of things, you are constantly touching him and I find it offensive."

Hollis waited for some sort of response, but received none, so she continued. "He's getting ready to be a married man, Abby. It's time you let him go. Let him be happy. Stop trying to be something to him that you're not."

"Get out." Came the reply as Abby stepped closer to her.

"Get out!" Abby screamed.

"See, you can't even have this conversation in a womanly manner."

"Hollis, I'm telling you now, get the hell out of my lab! As for being a woman, what kind of woman are you that you feel the need to come and lay this crap at my feet? Worried much? Am I that big of a threat that you felt the need to come here and belittle me? Go home, Hollis. Go home and have your happy freakin' life. But, don't ever come here again."

"Just so we're clear," Hollis added as she headed out of the lab.

"Oh, we're clear, don't worry about that."

"Abby?" Tony questioned, walking into the lab as Hollis stepped into the elevator he'd just left.

"Tony?" Abby whispered as she ran into his arms. "What am I gonna do? " She clinched her fist around the fabric of his shirt while he stroked her hair. "What am I gonna do without him?"


	5. Chapter 5

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… **CHAPTER FIVE …**

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_"I love you…"_

_"You're drunk, Abby."_

_"I'm not drunk, listen to me…"_

_He was kissing her then. His hands entangled in her dark hair and his lips crushing hers with such urgency and passion. Her hands were wrapped around him, pulling him closer to her._

_They had started out in the basement and now they were in his bedroom, he wasn't quite sure how._

_"Gibbs." She whispered as his hands tore at her clothes, ridding her of the fabric that separated his skin from hers. He needed to see her, needed to make her his. To love her the way he had always wanted to._

_He was above her then, pushing into her as her body arched and her nails dug into his back._

_"I love you…"_

"Abby," Gibbs moaned, eyes opening from his dream and suddenly searching the room for her. What he found was the frame of a woman lying next to him that was as far from Abby Scuito as one could possibly get. He was thankful that he hadn't woken her.

Standing from the bed, he slid his jeans and t-shirt on and headed downstairs. Sleep wouldn't come now, not with her on his mind. He hated that dream. He'd had it off and on for over a year now. But tonight, tonight it was more real than it had ever been. He could almost smell her perfume and the touch of her skin on his fingertips.

Breathing a heavy sigh of annoyance, Gibbs put on a pot of coffee and waited for the first cup before heading to his basement. It's the only thing that would distract him now.

Flipping the switch on, he made his way one step at a time until he reached the bottom. Grabbing a piece of sandpaper, he immediately began running the paper up and down the plank until it was as smooth as silk.

_"I love you Leroy Jethro Gibbs."_

He turned immediately to face the stairs, where he thought for sure her voice had come from, but he saw nothing. Closing his eyes, he shook his head in frustration.

"Damn dream," he mumbled, turning back to the boat to lose his thoughts in the wood.

It just felt so real.

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_"He's getting ready to be a married man, Abby. "_

Abby swallowed the last of her lukewarm beer and shook her head. _"The nerve of some people,"_ she thought.

_"It's time you let him go. Let him be happy. "_

"I'm trying," she said aloud. "I'm trying."

_"Stop trying to be something to him that you're not."_

She could handle it no more. With one quick fling the beer bottle hit against her front door, smashing into a million pieces. She thought it ironic really, that's how her heart felt. A million pieces. There was no way it could possibly ever be whole again.

With a shrug of her shoulders, she walked into her kitchen to get the broom and dustpan, returning a few minutes later to clean up her mess. "Could've been worse," she told herself. "Could've wasted the beer too." She grinned then, brushing the broken pieces into the pan, listening to the scratching sound it made as it slid across her wooden floor.

"What the hell," she said, before rising, grabbing her keys and heading out the door.

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"Jethro?"

"Go back to bed, Hollis."

"Something wrong?" she asked, taking another step toward him.

"Just couldn't sleep," he told her.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Nope."

She frowned then, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Want a distraction?"

"Got one," he told her, pointing to the half finished boat.

"Okay," she whispered, moving her hand from his shoulder. "I'll be upstairs when you do."

It wasn't long before Gibbs was cursing himself. She hadn't deserved his coldness. He couldn't even explain what the hell was going on with him. This was the woman he was going to marry, so why was he feeling so torn?

Throwing the sandpaper over to the table, he took the steps two at a time and turned off the light on the way up. He found her sitting in the kitchen, adding milk to the coffee she'd just poured herself.

"Thought you were going back to bed."

"No, I just said that I was going back upstairs."

He nodded his head, agreeing with her.

She rose then, walking over to meet him. "Ready for that distraction?"

She kissed him then, but Gibbs didn't resist the offer, kissing her back as she leaned into him. She took his hand then, leading him through the living room and up the stairs, laughing as she took each step. Yes, he was, indeed, hers.

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Abby pulled up in front of Gibbs' house a mere 15 minutes after she had left her apartment. Now, sitting in his driveway, she didn't know what in the world she thought she was doing. Dropping her head down onto her steering wheel, she cursed herself for her extremely bad judgment. Thankfully, she had just had the one beer and wasn't putting anyone at risk by being on the road.

She sat there another minute before taking a deep breath and getting out of the car. "Just be honest, Abby, " she told herself. "Just tell him how you feel."

But, as her hand reached for the knob of the door that she knew would be unlocked, she heard the laughter of a female. Of Hollis Mann. The fiancé of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. And, she suddenly realized that she couldn't do this.

_"It's time you let him go. Let him be happy,"_ she could hear Hollis saying in her head.

And maybe, just maybe, she was right.


	6. Chapter 6

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… **CHAPTER SIX …**

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The lab was quiet as McGee and Ziva entered it. Giving each other a look of confusion, they moved further into the room.

"Abby?" Ziva called out. "You in here?"

"I don't think she's here, Ziva." McGee told her as he glanced into the office space of the room and still finding no gothic forensic scientist.

"You don't think who's here?"

Both turned quickly to see a tall, middle-aged man standing behind them.

"Who are you?" Ziva asked moving her way toward the man.

"Where's Abby?" McGee asked, following Ziva.

"Is that the regular lab tech?" The man questioned, but didn't wait for a response. "If so, she took a leave of absence. I was called in as her replacement."

"Abby never takes off work," McGee thought aloud.

Ziva continued to eye the man up and down before leaving with a "Hmph", McGee quickly followed.

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"This does not make sense, McGee," Ziva complained as they entered the bullpen, paying no attention to Tony or Gibbs who were both doing paperwork at their desks.

"I know that Ziva," McGee said with a bit of irritancy.

"Do not get snitchy with me, McGee!"

"Snippy," McGee corrected.

"Bitchy," Tony chimed in with a grin.

"What are you two arguing about?" Gibbs finally asked, throwing his glasses down on his desk.

"Abby," Ziva offered.

"What about her?" Gibbs questioned, standing from his desk to now join his two agents in the center of the room.

Tony quickly jumped from his seat as well, a worried expression replacing his amused one.

"She's not in her lab."

"Maybe she had to use the head," Gibbs offered, wondering why this was such an important topic.

"No Boss," McGee began, beginning to feel nervous. "She's taken a leave of absence. There's a temp in her lab."

Immediately, Gibbs was washed with feelings of concern. "Anyone talked to her?"

"Not since yesterday at work, Boss." McGee told him as he moved to his desk.

"Nor have I," Ziva said, taking her desk as well.

"Tony?" Gibbs asked, staring at his senior field agent with a raised eyebrow.

"I talked to her late last night," he admitted. "But, she didn't mention anything about taking a leave."

"You three stay here," Gibbs ordered.

"Where you going, Boss?" Tony asked as he watched his boss head toward the elevator.

Gibbs never looked back, but answered with, "To find out what the hell is going on."

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She could hear the phone ringing, but she just didn't care. She had taken her leave of absence, she knew the lab was taken care of and there was no one that should be calling, so she refused to pick it up. Instead she chose to take a bite of the chocolate ice cream from the bowl in her hand.

Picking the remote up, she flipped through 73 channels before she found anything worth watching. Friday the 13th was on and she grinned, thinking momentarily about her conversation with Gibbs about this very movie.

Gibbs.

She sighed and took another bite of ice cream. How was it that even a horror movie made her think of him?

30 minutes into the movie and she was almost asleep, ice cream half melted on the coffee table and her eyes trying their best to decide rather to stay open or closed. It wasn't until a scream bellowed from the TV accompanied by a knock at the door that Abby almost fell off the couch and had her wide awake.

"Abs?"

"Gibbs," she whispered.

"You in there?"

She should have known, really she should have. She knew he hated dealing with new people and a lab tech would fall under that category.

She covered her face with a scarf by the door and faked a cough. "Gibbs, I'm not feeling well, okay?"

"Abby, let me in."

"No Gibbs," she told him, throwing in another fake cough for good measure. "I… I don't want you to get sick. Just go back to work."

"Abby," he repeated and she could hear the frustration in his voice. "I've never had a cold and I'm not going to get one now. Especially when you don't even have one."

Busted.

"Now open the door."

"Damn it," she mumbled, throwing the scarf back up on the coat rack and unlocking her door.

The minute he heard the chain slide, he was twisting the knob and opening her door. 3 seconds later and he was standing inside her apartment.

"What are you doing here, Gibbs?" she asked, crossing her arms as she flopped back down on her couch.

"Checking on you," he told her, taking a place beside her.

"I'm fine," she told him.

"Uh huh. That's why you took a leave?"

She rolled her eyes then and Gibbs couldn't decide rather he wanted to choke her or kiss her. Maybe both. He noticed then at just how beautiful she looked. Her hair was down, which always made him smile. It was such a rare occurrence to see it completely loose, that he had to mentally tell himself not to reach out and run his fingers through it. She was wearing a snug t-shirt with a superman logo on it and black flannel pajama bottoms. But, what he noticed most were her eyes. She was tired and those eyes of hers looked lost… and weary.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?"

"Just needed some time, Gibbs," she told him honestly as she pulled her legs up onto the couch.

"For what?" he asked, never paying much mind to the fact that his hand had somehow made it's way to her ankle and was rubbing it.

"Just time," she whispered, trying not to respond to his touch. "Have a lot to sort through."

He moved closer to her then, moving his hand from her ankle to her cheek. "Abby," he whispered. "You know I'll always be around if you need me."

She gave a faint laugh.

"What?"

"You can't promise that," she whispered.

He pulled back then, feeling a pain in his heart that he'd never felt before. It wasn't like she was talking hypothetical. It was like she was saying that it had already happened. That he had already let her down and the thought killed him.

He stood then, pulling the blanket off the back of the couch and laying it over her small frame. "I'll be here around 9," he told her as he headed toward the door.

"For what?" she asked, pulling the blanket up to her shoulders.

"For our date." He told her, watching her look at him confusion. "Abs, we have a date for your birthday dinner. You didn't think I'd forget did you?"

She smiled, the first genuine smile he'd thought he'd seen in a while. "Wasn't sure," she told him.

He moved then, making his way back to her and kissed her lightly on the head. "Never," he whispered and then disappeared out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

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… **CHAPTER SEVEN …**

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When Gibbs returned from his visit with Abby he had filled the team in on her "sickness". He didn't elaborate and the team knew better than to ask for the details that he wasn't providing. Tony groaned, an itch growing deep inside him to just tell Gibbs what had been going on and hopefully jog his memory. But, he had promised Abby, and silently cursed himself for doing so.

Hours after returning, Gibbs sat at his desk thankful that the workday was just about to come to an end. He had met Abby's temporary replacement and had immediately disliked the guy. He worked too slow, was much too uppity, didn't wear short skirts or wear pigtails. Gibbs grinned at the last thought. He didn't think Andrew Hodges would appreciate having to wear pigtails just to amuse him. He wanted his forensic scientist back. He wanted his friend back where she belonged. Simply, he wanted Abby.

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Abby sat nervously on her couch, biting on the inside of her lip. She really should have canceled this dinner, but her heart just couldn't do it. This was tradition. This was something that was always shared between the two of them and she'd be damned if she'd let her feelings, Gibbs's forgetfulness or Mann's comments keep her from it. This was her night. Her night… with Gibbs. And, Mann could just kiss it!

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Gibbs sat on the edge of chair and tightened the string on his dress shoe. He couldn't explain the nervousness he felt, but it was there all the same. He smiled to himself as he thought about how much he enjoyed these dinners. 8 in total, tonight would be 9. Abby had been working at NCIS for almost 10 years and the tradition had started just a year after she came there. The first had been by accident when he had showed up at the same restaurant as her. She was there on a blind date, he was just hungry. When her date flopped before the appetizers had even arrived, Gibbs had stepped in and they had decided to have dinner together. That was the first one, it just seemed natural to do it every year after that. He would let her pick one year and he the next. Tonight was his choice. Tonight would be some place special.

"Jethro?"

Gibbs was jerked back to reality with the jolt of a female voice. "Hollis?"

"Where are you going?"

"What are doing here?" he asked, standing to greet her.

"I thought we could have dinner."

"Should have called," he half-scolded. "I'm going out."

"Oh," she said, a bit of annoyance not going unrecognized in her voice. "Where?"

"To Abby's birthday dinner," he told her bluntly.

"Abby," she said with such disdain that Gibbs felt a bit of tension building in his muscles.

"What Hollis?"

"You know what, Jethro," she yelled.

"Hollis, I'm not doing this," he told her, grabbing his coat from the back of the chair.

"Of course not," she said smugly. "We can't talk about the precious Abby can we?"

"Don't," he warned.

"Don't what?," Hollis challenged. "God, I thought after the other night, maybe things would be different, should have known better."

Gibbs glared at her, taking two steps closer to her and peering down at her with steel blue eyes. "What happened the other night?"

Hollis immediately realized her mistake, but knew there was no use to lie about it now. So, she took a breath and decided to tell the truth. "I went to talk to Abby."

"You did what?" he asked, anger evident in his voice.

"I told her that she needed to stop being so clingy. That you were about to be a married man and that she needed to stop with the flirting and the..."

"Stop," he ordered. "Just stop."

She did.

Gibbs turned his back to her and paced for a few seconds before finding his way back to stand in front of her. "How could you, Hollis?"

"How could I what, Jethro?" she countered. "Act like your fiancé?"

"No," he yelled. "Act like a bi…" he stopped himself from saying it.

She jerked back as if he had said the word.

He sat down then, finding his place back in the wooden chair he had occupied earlier. He was silent for a long time, with Mann standing there as silent as he. "This isn't going to work, Hollis."

She closed her eyes. "Because I went behind your back?"

"Because you can't rule my life or the people in it. Abby's been apart of my life for a long time. What's next? Telling Ducky when he can visit?"

"You know it's not like that!" she yelled.

"It is like that, Hollis." He shook his head. "And, that's not all. If this was meant to be, I wouldn't be so angry. I think I wanted it to work, but it's… it's not going to happen."

"Just like that, huh? You get mad and now we're over?"

Gibbs took a deep breath, "Yeah. I don't know what else to say." He stared at her then and realized that he never should have agreed to marry her to begin with. When she had asked he had thought that this was would be a good thing, get him settled, but now he realized that he was just fooling himself, and he had been fooling her too. "I made a mistake."

"A mistake? A mistake?" she screamed. "Go to hell, Jethro. And take that bitch Abby with you too!"

He rose from his seat, anger so clear in his eyes that Hollis was actually afraid. She backed away from him then, knowing she'd pushed him too far. She headed toward the front door, but stopped before reaching for the handle. "You really are a bastard," she told him plainly, slamming the door behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

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… **CHAPTER EIGHT …**

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At 9 o'clock exactly, Abby heard the familiar knock at her door. She grinned thinking of how Gibbs made an art out of being on time. Standing slowly from the couch and smoothing her dress, she walked to the door, opening it to her date.

"Right on time," she told him with a smile.

He grinned that mischievous grin of his, but Abby knew instantly that something was wrong. Without thought, she grabbed his hand, shutting the door behind them, and pulled him toward the couch.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He shook his head and frowned, "Nothin'."

"Gibbs," she begged, searching his eyes for some sort of clue to the problem.

"I know about your talk with Hollis," he blurted out, watching as her expression changed from worry to guilt. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"There was nothin' to tell, Gibbs. She said what she wanted to say, end of story."

He shook his head in aggravation. "You should have told me."

"Maybe," she told him. "But I just didn't see the point." She watched him then, feeling that there was still something he wasn't saying. "What is it, Gibbs?"

"It's over," he said shortly, and Abby stiffened in her seat next to him.

"Why?"

"A lot of things, I should have realized it sooner. I was marrying her for the wrong reasons."

"I see."

He smiled at her then and Abby felt the butterflies in her stomach beginning to stir. "At least it's not ex-wife number four. I must be getting smarter."

She sighed, deciding to let the subject go, he'd talk more about it when he needed to.

Taking her hand, Gibbs stood from the couch, pulling Abby up with him. "Come on," he told her as he headed toward the door. "We have a dinner to go to."

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30 minutes later, and a very quiet ride there, Abby and Gibbs arrived outside the restaurant Oscuro.

Abby looked at Gibbs with puzzlement. "Gibbs," she started, "I think you made a mistake. This place doesn't open 'til Friday."

"No mistake," he told her as he got out of the car. Abby watched as he circled the vehicle and opened her door, reaching a hand down to help her out. "We have a special reservation."

She smiled her brightest smile and Gibbs returned it with a very confidant one of his own. He loved surprising her and he had outdone himself this time if he did say so himself. Taking her hand in his, he led her to the door of the much-anticipated Restaurant. A few minutes later they were greeted by a man speaking in Italian who ushered them inside and pointed them in the direction of the table.

Abby was in shock. The restaurant was dimly lit, but 2 candles were lit on their table and black rose petals were scattered across the red linen tablecloth. It was perfect. Even if she never touched a bite of food from the place, this was officially her favorite restaurant.

Gibbs, always the gentleman, seated Abby, pushing her chair in before taking his own seat, still grinning from ear to ear. After seating himself, he stared at her. The candlelight was making her eyes dance and was picking up the small sequins in her low cut black dress. He cleared his throat as he tried to clear his mind of the very naughty thoughts that were suddenly overtaking him. One thing was for sure, Abigail Scuito was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and he felt lucky to share this night with her.

"Gibbs," she sad hoarsely as she tried to find her own voice. "How did you do this?"

"I called in a favor," he told her truthfully. "I wanted tonight to be special. A birthday only comes but once a year you know?"

"I know," she told him, reaching her hand across the table to squeeze his.

Seconds later they were joined by the same man that had greeted them and Gibbs proceeded to order their dinner. The following two and a half hours were spent eating salad, breadsticks and lasagna, drinking wine and laughing. Gibbs talked and Abby listened, Abby talked and Gibbs listened. In between conversation they shared food and drink and laughter and both realized that this was something special. Gibbs watched with pure delight when the triple chocolate birthday cake was set in front of Abby, complete with a single candle for her to blow out.

"Gibbs," she had forced her voice to say, tears filling her eyes. "This is too much," she told him.

"Make your wish Abs," he whispered, stroking her hand with his index finger.

He watched her close her eyes, take in a deep breath and then exhale, killing the flame atop her cake.

"Hope it comes true," he told her. She smiled and nodded, her voice still refusing to speak, emotions overtaking her.

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

Abby sat quietly in the passenger seat and watched the rain that had started to fall, smiling contently.

"Wanna share?" Gibbs asked, noticing the smile.

"It's just been perfect," she told him. "Just absolutely perfect."

"I'm glad," he told her, letting his eyes turn back to the road.

"Oh!" she shouted, sitting straight up in the seat of the car, "Turn right, Gibbs!"

"Wha?"

"Turn right, turn right!"

Gibbs, clearly confused, did what he was told and turned right onto an old dirt road. "Abby, where the hell are you taking us?"

"I found this place when I first moved to DC. It used to be an old school, but it closed down. But, there's still a playground on the premises."

"A playground?"

"Yes, Gibbs," she teased, "A playground. It's my birthday and I wanna swing!"

"Not for 6 more minutes," he teased back, pulling the car over and parking it. Immediately Abby was throwing her shoes off and heading out the door into the rain and toward the swings that he could see a few feet away.

"Abby," he yelled, retreating from the car, following after her. He caught up with her a minute later, her already soaked to the bone and sitting on an old swing. "You're crazy, you know that?"

Even in the dimly lit playground her smile shone through. "Why, thank you."

He smiled hearing her Louisiana accent edging it's way into her voice. "Push?" She asked, and Gibbs obliged, moving to stand behind her, putting his hands on the small of her back and giving her a push.

Immediately she was swaying through the air, toes pointed out, head flung back and laughing that husky laugh that made Gibbs almost weak in the knees. After several minutes, he glanced down, noticing the time and grabbed hold of the swing, bringing it to a stop.

"Gibbs!" she pouted, but he paid her no mind. Instead, he took her hand and brought her to her feet.

"Happy Birthday, Abs," he whispered, his hand moving to gently caress her cheek.

"Thank you." She couldn't say what made her do it, but the way he looked at her, she couldn't help herself. Slowly she brought herself up on tiptoes and let her lips find a home on his.


	9. Chapter 9

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… **CHAPTER NINE …**

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Her mouth was on his and Gibbs felt his wall beginning to crumble. He let his hands find their way to her hair and entangled his fingers in it. Then, realizing the situation, he pulled away from her, backing up and staring at her as she looked at him with confusion.

"Abs," he warned, "We… we can't do this."

"Why not?" she asked, wanting to fill the distance between them.

"Not here," he told her, trying to regain his composure.

"Then take me home," she mumbled, heading back to the car with Gibbs gladly following behind her.

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20 minutes later, Abby was fumbling with her keys as Gibbs stood behind her. Finally hearing the click of the lock, they both stepped inside. Immediately, Gibbs had Abby pressed against the wall, her hands above her head and his mouth claiming hers.

_"I love you Leroy Jethro Gibbs."_

He heard her moan into his mouth and it sent waves of lightening through his body. He wanted to claim her, own her, make her his.

_"You're drunk, Abby. Go upstairs and sleep it off."_

Gibbs tried to shake the voices and flashes from his thoughts. What good was a dream when he had the real thing right in front of him?

_"I'm not drunk! Listen to me, I love you."_

"Gibbs," she whispered when his mouth left hers and began feasting on her neck at her spider tattoo.

"Abs," he growled into her neck, his hands moving from her arm to wrap around her waist.

_"For all that you are, for all that you've ever been and ever will be. Please…."_

Abby's hand was at his waist, pulling at his damp shirt, trying her best to rid him of the clothing that kept her skin from his. Gibbs, feeling the urgency, let his fingers make their way to the zipper of her dress and slid the straps from her shoulders letting her dress fall in a pile at their feet.

He was on his knees then ready to remove her underwear when he stopped. Abby sucked in a breath as she felt his hand rubbing circles on her skin just a few inches below her belly button. She stared down at him, only to see his blues eyes fixated on the black bat tattoo that was half hidden beneath his fingers, a look of confusion plastered across his face.

"Why do I know this tattoo?" he asked, trying to make the pieces fit in his head.

She said nothing.

"Abby," he begged. "Why do I know this tattoo?"

"Because…"

"Because?"

"You've seen it before," she told him, closing her eyes.

"What?" he asked, rising from the floor to look at her. Her eyes remained closed. Slowly he brought his hand to her cheek. "Abby," he pleaded. "Tell me."

Finally she opened those emerald eyes and stared at him. She swallowed hard. "You," she cleared her throat, trying to force herself to speak. "You've seen it before. You've been with me before."

"What?" he questioned, shaking his head as if trying to jar the information into it. "I've never…"

_"I love you Leroy Jethro Gibbs."_

"Oh my God," he mumbled, dropping to his knees in front of the door. "It wasn't a dream was it?"

Abby knelt and picked her dress up, putting it back over her pale form before finding a seat next to Gibbs on the floor. "What wasn't a dream?"

"You," he whispered. "A dream about you."

"Me? " she questioned, ashamed that his admission had made her hopeful.

"Yeah. For over a year now I've had a dream about you. You would tell me you loved me and then we would…"

"Make love?" she finished, watching him nod his head yes as a reply.

"It wasn't a dream was it?"

Gibbs watched as a tear slid down Abby's cheek and he reached out to wipe it away. "No," she told him. "It wasn't a dream."

"Why didn't you tell me, Abby?"

"Because I didn't want to be like everyone else, Gibbs. Jenny would remind you of your days in Paris, other people would try to make you remember certain things and I didn't want to be like that. I wanted you to remember me on your own."

Gibbs sat in silence, everything from that night with Abby hitting him in waves, and he was stunned. "It's been over two years, Abs."

"I know."

"Were you just gonna let me marry Hollis and not tell me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

She scooted closer to him on the floor, taking his hand in hers. "Because I wanted you happy. I wanted your happiness more than anything and more than having it with me. I mean, I wanted it to be with me, but if it wasn't…"

He stopped her then, putting his finger over her lips to silence her and Abby felt that familiar pain in her heart like she had the night he'd left. "You don't have to say anything else," he told her. "I love you, Abs. I think I've always loved you."

He felt her smile under his fingers and he smiled himself. He moved his hand from her lips to her cheek and pulled her to him. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair as she rested her head on his chest. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" she questioned, wiping her tears.

"That it took me so long, Abs."

"You're here now," she told him. "That's all that matters."

"Yep, I am here now." He pulled her up from the floor then and led her to the bedroom. "And how lucky am I to have fallen in love with you twice?"

Abby smiled then. No more living in the past. No more wishing for what had been. He was here now. He was here and he was hers and this was the beginning of forever.

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… **THE END …**

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